nobody asked…

Feeling kinda blah this morning. Had already decided not to write anything till later — let the blahs move on thru, like storm clouds passing. Probably has something to do with entering my third day without smoking. I’m depressed. Feel like I’ve lost one of my best friends, one that has been with me far longer than anyone except parents. But no, I have been “down in the dumps” as we say around these parts, for sometime now. Not all the time — it comes and goes, but never disappears completely. To perk me up I browsed some of my regular reads and ran into this over at CBO’s shack:

It’s more than nostalgia. It’s wanting to believe again, but not being able to. It’s the feeling that what we don’t know could hurt us. Bad. Would be more than we could take. Where Ground Zero equals Childhood’s End. How many of us have taken the hit directly in our personal lives? Absorbed the full impact of America’s broken heart? Which didn’t happen three years ago, but continues yesterday and the day before. Today. We want to believe all those things we learned in school about America the Beautiful. But that simple faith has been betrayed and we can’t get it back by wishing, clicking our heels and repeating “There’s no place like home…”

Click on over and read the rest. CBO’s prose coupled with the pic of the WTC Towers being saluted by Lady Liberty has a powerful impact. Yes, that is a big part in why I’m down. The events of and the administration’s responses to 9/11 reached in and made a direct hit on my personal and business lives. It will never be the same. We’re OK, individually and collectively. But not the same. The administration says we should be vigilant but go on as if nothing had happened, because to do otherwise would be admitting defeat and rewarding the terrorists with precisely what they seek. And I say “horseshit!” Lives were disrupted. Dreams were shattered. Plans were scrubbed. Americans are being killed daily. For what? My own life plan was twisted and tortured as if a tornado had swept thru. It is not recoverable. And they want me — and you — to go on as if nothing has happened? I don’t think so!

OK, so I’ve identified a long-term source of the blahs and had a good rant. I think I can get through another day. I feel better now. Thank you CBO. But I still want a cigarette!