nobody asked…

A man in Pittsburgh calls his son in Seattle two days before Christmas and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough.”

“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son asks.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Los Angeles and tell her.”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

“No way they’re getting divorced!” she shouts. “I’ll take care of this.” She calls Pittsburgh immediately and says to her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a thing until I get there. I’m calling brother back, and we’ll both be there by tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing. DO YOU HEAR ME?” and slams the phone down.

The man hangs up and turns to his wife and smiles. “Okay,” he says, “they’re both coming home for Christmas. And they’re paying their own way.”