nobody asked…

• BUMPER STICKER: The world is run by those who show up.
• There is now a tanning spa on every corner. Who goes to them?
• Ditto nail salons.
• Q: What is the symbol for zero in Roman numerals?
  A: Nothing. There is no zero in Roman numerals.
• Wanted - Spell Checker: Billboards around Nashville for the upcoming
  New Age and Wholistic Fair

3 comments

About 10 minutes ago I clicked on Publish for a post that had been a couple of weeks in the making. It vanished into … somewhere … No longer in my Drafts, not showing as a Post … nada, nowhere. Never had that happen before. If you see it, please tell it to go home.

That’s it for today. The WordPress gods are not with me. Maybe tomorrow I’ll try again. Hope you enjoyed reading this …

5 comments

In the previous post I traced my roots through a pigskin upbringing and revealed my late life introduction to basketball. There is so much to catch up on … so much to learn. How long has it been since I went to a basketball game? Let’s just put it this way - that was when the “girls” team was six players, and as I recall the balls were still square. As I watch the games and listen intently to the sports pronouncers, I marvel when they talk about doubling down as I try frantically to figure out just what the hell they’re talking about. But before I get that one nailed, they mention that so-and-so is posting up. Whaaaa…? Huh? Did what in the paint?

Sure, I know the basics … have since high school when I went to games primarily because I dated a cheerleader who had to be there, and I surely would not want to let her down! She could shake her very large pom-poms better than any of the others, except maybe that guy they had on the cheerleading squad. But he wasn’t my type … ‘nuf said.

Developing roundball fever this year, and following it into the Big Dance (the NCAA Tournament for those of you who are as uninformed as I was last year), I have learned the following astounding facts:

• The Final Four does not include an ACC (Atlantic Coast Conference) team for the first time since the earth cooled.
• For the first time since 1975, the Final Four does not include a team from the ACC, Big Ten, Big East, or Big 12 conferences. The SEC has two. GO SEC!
• For the first time since 1980 and the second time since the NCAA began seeding in 1979, the Final Four contains no No. 1 seed.
• I now understand the difference between a 3-2 zone and a popcorn machine.
• George Mason U. (whoever they are, wherever they are from) is only the 2nd team in history to make the Final Four from a seed position as low high bad as No. 11.

Some other things that I haven’t quite figured out yet:

• What the hell is a seed?
• In the womens’ game, why do they still call it man-to-man (often shortened to just man) defense?
• Why do they use a possession arrow instead of a jump ball on a tie-up?
• And then there’s that little matter of post-up and double-down…

5 comments

Autumn Friday nights in my little growing-up hometown, almost the entire population of 3,500 gathered together to cheer the HHS Mustangs on to victory. The town lived for football. Basketball was just a way to kill part of the calendar until warmer weather arrived and the football team could start spring practice. It was about the same in college at UT, where the Volunteer football tearm and talk of the last game or next season dominated the campus scene.

The corporation that took a huge risk on me following graduation decided early on that a transfer to HQ in Pittsburgh would do wonders for working some of the y’alls out of my Tennessee speech pattern. There too, football ruled. The Steelers were just entering their Steel Curtain era, dominating the NFL through the 70s with four Super Bowl Championships. And so it went, football was it. Basketball and other sports were distant also rans.

Until I moved back to Tennessee in the mid-80s and got hooked on Pat Summitt’s Lady Vols and their legendary annual runs through womens’ collegiate basketball. Never once was I even tempted to consider watching, much less attending, a UT mens‘ basketball game. They sucked and everyone knew it. Occasionally teasing us with a half-vast season, but always fizzling out before the games and the season were done.

Until this year. Bruce Pearl bounced into Knoxville last Spring as the new mens’ basketball coach du jour. Yeah, he sounded different, but so had they all. Alumni and fans everywhere screamed out with a collective yawn and mutterings of “here we go again” and “whadda ya give ‘im? 2 years, or 3?“. Much to everyone’s surprise and delight, Coach Pearl and his rag-tag wannabes left over from the last non-productive season, came together as a team, excelled as individuals, and ran through their tough SEC schedule like Sherman through Georgia - who we defeated twice this season (Georgia, not Sherman), along with archrivals Florida and Vanderbilt. We split 1 - 1 with perennial king-of-the-hill Kentucky, the win being at Kentucky’s home cathedral, Rupp Arena, a feat that few teams have ever accomplished, and a first for Tennessee.

So this year, for the first time ever, I got excited about mens’ hoops, and have continued to follow the NCAA Tournament even after my beloved Vols made an unexpected early exit. But Coach Pearl and his team have no reason to hang their heads. Au contraire! We are proud of their accomplishments this season and they have every right to walk with heads high. They have finally elevated Tennessee mens’ basketball to a force to be reckoned with. Just wait until next year!

Having said all that, as soon as the NCAA Basketball Tournaments are over in another few days, I’ll be ready for some football!

3 comments

I saw them again last Sunday. Every trip to visit Mom at her “retirement community”, which has evolved into an “assisted living facility” and is bordering on “nursing home” … pardon me, I digress, that is another story for another day … I see them in one field just outside town. Never have I seen them elsewhere. Always, I laugh out loud.

The first time I saw them, I thought some kids had played a prank and painted white bands around some black angus. But when I mentioned it to my brother, he told me they were Oreo Cows. “Bull shit!” I responded. But sure enough a quick Google search turns up a wealth of information on Belted Galloway cows, also called “belties” by some breeders, and commonly referred to as Oreo Cows for obvious reasons.

Native to the rugged, hilly seacoast region of southwest Scotland, Belted Galloways were first imported to Canada in the 1950s. An extremely hardy breed, they are considered perfect cattle for the long, harsh Canadian winters. Belties have a dual hair coat: a short, velvety, water resistant undercoat acts like a downy insulation, protecting the cows from dampness, and long, coarse, and curly outer hair protects them from cold. The result is that these animals are a wonderful breed for Northern climates.

The Oreo Cows I see here in Tennessee must be roasting in the temperate winters we enjoy. In answer to the question raised in the title to this post, Belted Galloways are a dual purpose breed, producing both fine beef and abundant milk. To answer any other nagging questions you have on these curious animals, visit Grant’s Farm or Homestead.

9 comments

( With serious aplogies to Dr. Stu Savory and German speaking people everywhere! I obviously have no comprehension of the German language and am plagued with gehim der furz. )

English adoption of the German word zeitgeist is widespread. We see and hear it almost on a daily basis. Some people can even tell you that it roughly translates to spirit of the time or mood of an era. So when I stumbled on this one, I knew it was German, knew it had something to do with time (zeit), but having never seen or heard it, a trip to dictionary.com found this:

zeit·ge·ber noun
Pronunciation: ‘tsIt-”gA-b&r, ‘zIt-

An environmental agent or event (as the occurrence of light or dark) that provides the stimulus setting or resetting a biological clock of an organism.

Look at that pronunciation - could pass for a dialect of Klingon!

Try working that into a conversation without sounding like a smart-ass…

4 comments

I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
– Wayne Gretzky, Hockey Great

1 comment

There have been floods of comments and email messages of support and concern during my recent … uh, er … problems. Thank you, boys and girls, from the bottom of my little ol’ pea-picking heart! Several have also commented about the new color scheme (positively) and the header graphic (not so). It seems the lily in the current graphic does not quite match the personna, the aura, that I project through my writing. After a fruitless, though admittedly quick, search for something more fitting, like perhaps a thistle, I grew weary of the process. Therefore, without further ado, I am pleased to announce the First Ever nobody asked Header Graphic Competition.

The guidelines are quite simple:

• You see the color scheme; the graphic should blend or complement without too much PhotoShop work.
• You see the space I have to work with. Something croppable to that size is acceptable. Something stretchable to that size without too much distortion will also work.
• The graphic may be photographic, machine genned, or hand did. Or some combination.
• If you submit your own work, the submission is permission to use for the intended purpose. If you borrow the submission from another site, please include original source. If you borrow copyrighted work not already in the public domain, please fess up so if I decide to use it, I know where to go for permission. With all that is available for free, I am not inclined to shell out more than pocket change for anything.
• Decision to use any, or all, or none of the submissions is mine.
• The overall winner will receive fame and riches beyond your wildest dreams, including my undying gratitude, permanent acknowledgement on my blog credits for as long as I use the graphic, and the admiration of your peers for years to come. Additionally, if I have any of my lunch money left over on the day of the big decision, it is yours … all of it!

If you wish to make a submission in this contest of global importance, just attach and send it by email to me. Most of you know my address, but to make it easier for those that do not:

winstonrand AT bellsouth DOT net
Entries will be returned if so requested and if accompanied by a self-addressed stamped envelope. Don’t know how to send an envelope by email? Then perhaps I could interest you in purchasing an advance registration for my upcoming book that explains that and hundreds dozens many a few other little known tricks previously thought to be impossible. Details on request accompanied by cashier’s check or money order for $49.95, S + H included on advance purchases! Act before midnight tonight and we’ll throw in, absolutlely free, a set of genuine steak knives with your initials engraved in the beautiful imitation plastic handles!

Alright, girls and boys, time to get busy and get your submissions in early!

4 comments

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

Thanks to Frank Paynter for passing along some of his father’s wisdom.

5 comments

The last couple of days did not play out quite like I had planned. With Roomie out of town for about 3 days, I had planned to do a lot of hell-raising, basketball-watching, bar-hopping, and of course, spending time with you, my extended family of blog friends.

Having your blog penetrated, taken over, hacked, corrupted, compromised, screwed, (add your own descriptor) is not something we think about happening, not something we are really prepared for. And it sure as hell ain’t a lot of fun! For a couple of days, Blog Central was not its usual quiet citadel of intellectual grandeur and developmental introspection.

I do not want to dwell on this … rather, I have a couple of things to say and then I just want to get back to boring all you good people with more of my meaningless drivel. I’ve just got to develop that great blog idea I had about pygmy goats and their addiction to chocolate chip mint ice-cream…

1. Whatever content management software you are using for blogging, make sure you have the latest version with any security patches available.
2. If you don’t already know, check with your hosting company on what perimeter security and breach detection solutions they have in place.
3. While you’re talking to them, find out how often they backup your blog, database, whatever, and make sure you know the procedure for invoking a restore.
4. If you do not have a backup solution yourself, GET ONE and USE IT regularly. Also, know how to restore from it. If there is a way to test that your backup is valid, do so.

Dreamhost came through with flying colors. Their response took a bit longer than I would have preferred, but being in the network support business myself, I have learned to recognize and deal with the rush of anxiety, the sheer panic, the “if my network is not back up by the time I’m back from lunch, you will die” look on my customers’ faces.

They found what they believe was the opening for the hackers (vulnerabilities in old WordPress software). I understand and accept that as part of the problem. I also believe there is more that they do not want to say out loud. What you are looking at now is WordPress 2.0.2, the latest. So far, I like the new features of ot a lot, though I have not had time to fully explore. Dreamhost’s one-click install of WordPress is amazing! But misnamed… It takes one click to tell it to do it, and another click to confirm that you really want to do it, then a final click to acknowledge that it is finished. The entire process takes literally about 10 seconds. The upgrade took place following a complete restore of my site by Dreamhost , the database, css and php and html, and all the uploaded images etc. Thank you Dreamhost!

Y’all be careful out there… It’s a mean, cruel world!

Now, where did I misfile that research on the pygmy goats…

12 comments

Damn! What a royal pain in the ass! Of course, that’s probably what the hackers had in mind, so I s’pose I should smile, say how much I enjoyed the screwing over, and maybe they’ll move on to someone else. Anyone except all of you, my wonderful and caring friends! The outpouring of sympathy, anger, disgust, and support on my behalf has been overwhelming. Your emails helped me through the night, and then the day, and here we are back in business, kinda, sorta, almost…

More on this later, but Dreamhost believes the breach occurred through a known vulerability in the old version of WordPress. They indicated that upgrading to the latest version should prevent recurrence. Guess where I’m headed now…

12 comments

• Give someone a fish and you feed them for a day.
• Teach someone to fish and you feed them for a lifetime.
• Teach someone to blog and you won’t see them for weeks.

7 comments

Junebugg over at Wasted Days Wasted Nights has this hilarious collection of actual notes allegedly sent by parents to their kids’ schools. Caution: Be prepared to roll on the floor laughing your ass off!

3 comments

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it. — Mark Twain

Death or life or life or death
Death is life and life is death
I gotta use words when I talk to you
But if you understand or if you dont
That’s nothing to me and nothing to you
We all gotta do what we gotta do — T. S. Eliot

Death, the most dreaded of all evils, is therefore of no concern to us; for while we exist death is not present, and when death is present we no longer exist. — Epicurus (c. 341–271 B.C.)

1 comment