A Questioning Attitude…
A prudent question is one-half of wisdom. — Francis Bacon
Old Francis would probably not extrapolate that thought to equating two questions with wisdom.
Chances are you know someone who always answers a question with a question. Doesn’t that just drive you nuts? If I was not interested in your input, I would not have asked. So if I ask “Should the new sign out front be light letters on a dark background, or dark on light?”, please give me an honest opinion and do not answer with “Which do you think it should be?”
Responding to questions with questions, throwing it back to the questioner to get them to think, can be an effective teaching technique, whether one-on-one or a classroom setting. This tactic, when surgically used at the precisely correct moment, can be a deadly debating ploy. And in similar fashion, no course on negotiating is complete without learning the judicious deployment of question as reply to question.
But in day-to-day relationships, whether at work or in our personal lives, the questioning attitude can be carried too far. It soon loses effectiveness and quickly passes through neutral territory to become annoying and frustrating. That is not helpful in the nurturing of important relationships. Before someone bashes me for thinking my questions always deserve explicit answers - no, that is not what this is about. I probably ask a lot of stupid questions that are not deserving of any response, not even another question, unless it is “What the hell are you talking about?” Enough of anything is enough. Just give it a rest and engage in meaningful dialog with me. We both might learn something…
A few parting thoughts on the subject, some supportive of my plea, some not…
Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. — Voltaire
No question is so difficult to answer as that to which the answer is obvious. — George Bernard Shaw
It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
— James Thurber
Questions show the mind’s range, and answers its subtlety.
— Joseph Joubert
4 Comments so far
I’ve always been fond of Thomas Merton’s statement, “The question is the answer.”
I’m with Voltaire…that’s cool.
I’m with Voltaire too…
“He must be very ignorant for he answers every question he is asked.” ~~Voltaire
It’s my first time here and I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I love this post and the ‘question’ you pose. I am forever telling my kids - dont answer a question with a question. Even though as a trained coach, I only know how to ask questions, not give answers
(that’s how the coach training schools would have us be, anyhow)
Today, my 16 year old told me he had decided to not go to a concert (that I did NOT want him to go to, and had been stressing over, ALL day). And I, of course, asked Why? He told me ‘I decided not to - it’s not worth it.’ Me, being the ‘insightful Mum’ asks - ‘not worth it, or is there something more???’ Clever, astute, (secretive) 16 year old gives me the look. “I TOLD you - not worth it”. Ok, I say, OK.
Moral of the story - when you ask a question and actually get an answer - dont ask ANOTHER question