My Achy, Breaky Arse…
My previous post wherein I ranted and rambled about Dreamhost’s nightmares and their effect on my emotional stability and psychological well being, also mentioned another item that has of late diminished my quality blogging time. That is, the discord in my integrated aft cushioning device … the pain in my ass…
Like everything else in my life that has deviated from script in the last couple of months, this all started with the move of my office, which is now referred to as simply, Th’ Move. Somehow Th’ Move had resulted in an extra high-back executive-style chair which appeared to be better and more comfortable than the one I was using here at BlogCentral. So I did the natural thing — confiscated it for long hours of sitting here writing, editing, cursing, reading, sneering, snoring, and commenting. Turns out that was a mistake, the one mistake that I allow myownself each year. Geez … it’s still July and I’ve already used up my mistake. Anyway, I returned that chair to the source from whence it cameth and swapped for another. This one was most comfortable, having been with me as my orginal office chair since the mid-80’s. Over the years of punishing use, it had molded itself to my arse perfectly. The controls had all been tweaked for the right height, tilt tension and range, and swivel motion, so that it required nothing but the sitting. Looked like the devil, with an ugly brown fabric upholstery that was worn and pilled from years of use, but just right for BlogCentral where nobody sees it anyway.
So there I am one evening, checking the transactions of global impact, when Roomie makes a rare visit to my hide-away nest. She plopped down in our puppy’s favorite wicker chair as if to announce “I am here and I want your attention. Now!” I shifted my attention from the screen, dropped my mouse, and swivelled toward her for conversation. It quickly became obvious that this was more than a 30 second commercial break, so I leaned back to get comfortable. And that’s when it happened…
SNAP… CLUNK… echoed around BlogCentral as some part of the complicated adjusting mechanism under the chair decided it had had quite enough abuse from the 200 pound toad perched comfortably above in the bucket. It all happened so quickly … I’m not sure if I actually went all the way back and onto the floor, or it just felt that way. Two things are certain: the damn chair no longer wanted me, and the next sound I remember after the SNAP and CLUNK was Roomie laughing her ass off as I tried to recover from the spill, arms and legs flailing, hands grabbing at pieces of air… In Pittsburgh they have an appropriate description for that maneuver … ass over tin cups.
That old scumbag of a chair got its due a couple of days later as the trash men threw it into the compactor truck and made unrecognizeable metal, plastic and cloth garbage of it. Meantime, I’m sitting on a hard wooden chair which is quite unforgiving, regardless of how many cushions I’ve tried. Therefore, blog sitting for more than a few minutes at a time is out of the question. As soon as time permits, I must get to the chair store and find another as comfortable and long lasting as the old reliable that just kicked me in the ass.
9 Comments so far
Winston, about eight years ago I, for once, did the smart thing. I invested in an Aeron (lumbar) chair. Between that and a great bed, I spend thwo thirds of my day as comfortable as anyone.
Well, now the plot thickens. Got it, got it! You HAVE to get out there and find yourself a new chair Mister…a chair that will help you to be able to work under the best possible conditions so as not to even slightly diminish the quality of your work as we have come to know it. There’s NO WAY you can operate at Blog Central until you do….you own it to your arse….and your readers. Now get out there and test drive some of those babies Winston!
I was worried you had literally broken your ass with all that heavy lifting!
Winston, I recently bought a new chair for blog sitting and more … and, gee, it is great. I did it just in time too because my old one was getting ready to turn me over as yours did!
Treat yourself to one doozy chair. You deserve it, my friend, especially for great posts like these …. and just because.
I hate putting money into chairs and worse have a hard time deciding if one is okay or not. The current one is supposed to be good but I am still not comfortable if I work all day in it then my back will hurt into the night. No fun. Your story was fun though … glad you didn’t hurt something worse than your ego with it though lol
A chair! A chair! My kingdom for a chair!
I hate the chair I have at the apartment, and the one at work ain’t so grand, either. Had an Aeron at the office in Atlanta, but beware! There are different grades of Aeron chairs (we had the mid-grade - OK, but I still couldn’t sit for hours in it), so make sure you try it out first. Any other recommendations out there?
I have yet to find a chair that doesn’t make my back ache after hours of sitting, and I spend 12 hours a day in a control room at work (think of a female Homer Simpson), plus if and when I blog from home. If you find the perfect chair, please tell me!! I keep reading about how people are raving about sitting on THOSE BIG BLOW-UP EXERCISE BALLS, something about them strengthening your back muscles. Somehow this just doesn’t sound right, how would I ever lean back and toss my feet on the panelboard here at work in order to show that I’ve got everything under control!
Thanks to all of you for your deep and abiding concern for my ass. Today and the balance of this week promise to be a bit less hectic, so perhaps I can find time to zip around Nashville checking out some your recommendations. The Aeron has always intrigued me; if they were just not so damned expensive. Anything with Herman Miller’s stamp on it is going to be good — and cost a fortune. Alas, I am down to my last fortune, so I need to use it wisely. We’ll see…
hmm in texas that is called ass over tea kettle…weird…i have a visual of you in my head going ass over tea kettle..and im still snorting and giggling…hehe..
get that chair babs is talking about..she sleeps in that damn thing more than i sleep in my bed…it must be the best chair in the world…