What Men Want…
So there I am, filling my tank again, pumping gas while thinking of important things, like whirrled peas, the sanctity of familial relations in a society gone nuts, what to blog about next… Like you, I usually perform such routine, mundane chores while taking a brain trip to parts unknown … daydreaming … escaping for a few minutes alone with my very favorite person. The silence was broken by a sound that could come only from a chariot of the gods.
This pulled up to a pump next to me…
MASERATI GranSport
Well, not this one. I was too weak to get the camera from the back seat, but one like this in a midnight black metallic, which Maserati calls Nero Carbonio. They even have sexy names for paint colors. As I regained some modicum of consciousness and control, I noticed that every other male over age 2 was also mesmerized by the Maserati. Most of them were drooling and dribbling uncontrollably on their T-shirts. This is Franklin, TN, mind you … not Munich or Zurich. This is an upscale, sophisticated, educated, wealthy community. And yet, a Maserati sighting is an uncommon experience.
The GranSport is not a largish automobile (never call it a car!), being just 178 inches in length compared to a Chevy Malibu at 188 and a Nissan Sentra at about 180. Weight-wise, however, the operative word is mass, due to the 4.2 L 400 HP V8 power plant and the safety features demanded by an automobile designed to cruise at top speed of 180 MPH on the European Autobahns. Curb weight is listed as just over 3700 pounds, compared to the lightweight Sentra at about 2950.
No, this is not the James Bond automobile … they were Aston Martins, Bentleys, and a few others. I did read or hear somwhere that a Maserati was driven by Bond, James Bond, in one movie, but I have been unable to confirm that fact. Not only would Bond, James Bond have delighted in driving it, but Q would have taken special pride in his hight-tech modifications such as rocket launchers, satellite telemetry and surveillance systems, etc.
I stood there helplessly with the other males of the species as the gentleman returned to the cockpit and began the launch process. The deep throated, rumbling resonance, with harmonic components of both a purr and a growl, that engulfed us has no analog. The pilot goosed it a couple of times to rev the power plant, knowing full well that his silent, awed desciples would most likely wet their pants. I did not, but I’m pretty sure that a couple of others did. Urine or otherwise, I’ll not venture a guess. A hint of a knowing smile tugged at the corner of the driver’s mouth as he roared away. Moments later, observers regained control and returned to whatever they were doing before, as if nothing had happened. We all had something new to talk and dream about. I now know where my next spare $100,000+ is going…
10 Comments so far
Hmmm, nice… but I can trump that - overtook (smug-yet-awed smile!) a DB9 on the way in today - 6 litre, 450HP, £107k. And also in black. I don’t know the name but you might say it was a sort of Darth Vader black. I said overtook - inched very carefully passed in the traffic would be more accurate, taking extra special care to keep the mirrors on my bike well away from his (curious how it’s always a he) paintwork.
Know what you mean tho’…
A DB9… Yes, Bond would be driving that. On a recent Sunday I also saw a Bentley coupe on a used auto lot, locked up behind chainlink fence. Could not get close enough to it to really see any details, but the overall impression based on the profile was the same…
Oh, boys and their toys. I have to admit…that’s a beauty Winston. It’s good to have dreams…maybe someday…. I can hear you now….”I’m Rand…Winston Rand…008.”
I really am not a boy who needs big toys. I got a new Mr. Coffee recently and that was a big thrill for me! LOL But yes, when something like that rolls by, I need assistance getting my tongue rolled up and put back in my mouth!
Ah, what a headturner, and no two ways about it.
During the Oil Boom, we actually had a Maserati dealership in Oklahoma City (they also handled BMW and Rolls-Royce/Bentley), and I managed to wangle some seat time in the Quattroporte of those days. (It takes the Italians to make “four-door” sound luscious.) I spun it around the lake at about 180 percent of the speed limit, and I didn’t want to give it back.
By now, it would actually be paid for. Damn.
The dealer still exists today, though he sells just Beemers. Oh, and Mini Coopers (Minis Cooper?).
I just got my Rolls Royce Corniche waxed !
I was so waiting for the driver stepping out of the car to be a woman with legs that went from here to the moom… you know what I mean. …great story! -mg
Winston, I feel your anguish and share your dreams; I’ve driven around Santa Barbara in my 2002 Ford Escape for several years now, pulling up next to Ferraris, Maseratis, Aston Martins, RRs, Bentleys et al. Though traumatic at first, it has kept me humble, and the envy gradually wears off. Besides, I get to bump into Bo Derek in the wine department at Costco, and once talked about plumbing solutions with Dennis Miller at Home Depot, so there is a slight tradeoff here.
There are some other options, however, for this painful syndrome (poor folks with exquisite taste). Some companies out there rent or sell time-shares in exotic cars; see the Exotic Car Rental Directory at http://www.exoticcarrental.com/, or, hey, you can always build one of those kits… but… it’s.. still not quite the same……
What is it with men and cars? Chocolate or a nice dog I can understand.