Blame It On Cow Farts…
John at Common Sense and Wonder posts an article from Lileks describing a UN study which concludes that 18% of greenhouse gases result from bovine flatulence. I checked the validity of this outrageous claim before deciding to write about it. Googling bovine flatulence turns up about 48,900 hits. A quick review of the first few items confirms that Bossie’s belching and farting have been of global concern as far back as the early 1990s.
Speaking to the effects of greenhouse gases on global warming and the melting of polar ice caps, the article drops some jewels here and there, such as…
a polar bear goes through the ice.
.
Browsing through some of the Google hits, whether they are scientifically serious or tongue in cheek hilarious, it is difficult to read without constantly struggling to hold in a loud guffaw accompanied by a breaking of the wind. Concerns reach from New Zealand to the UK. Solutions range from taxation (how does that solve it?) to re-writing the human eating machine’s desire for steaks and hamburgers (not likely!), replacing them with tofu, seaweed, and other such delectable delights (I don’t think so…), to legislation making cow farts illegal (who’s gonna break the news to Bossie?).
11 Comments so far
OMG…every time a cow farts a polar bear goes through the ice?!?! That’s just too funny. And Winston, I can’t believe there were almost 49,000 hits for ‘cow farts’. Seems like just too many web sites on THAT topic!
Holy Cow…farts! I can barely type I’m laughing so much. Illegal…yeah, I’d like to know who’s going to break the news to Bossie about breaking wind too Winston. She could give a cow chip how many bears are falling through the ice. Okay that’s enough…I gotta stop.
think feeding them Gas X would save us???
If we stop eating meat, we start eating more soy products and other legumes, thus increasing the amount of methane gas and hastening the end of the world as we know it, not to mention ruining the few social events we would have left. Besides, we would lose the poetic experience of seeing cattle grazing peacefully on the hillsides. Hey, come to think of it, has anyone seen that lately?
That’s why they’re called Newspaper Farticles????
When I heard about it, I have to admit I didn’t check out the number of hits on google. It’s much easier to blame it on the cows. If we cut down on all our own pollution, maybe the cow farts wouldn’t be such an issue?
Damn…Rain said what I was about to. Great minds think alike, obviously!
Them damn cows had just better lay off the Metamoocil, is all I got to say about it.
You truly do have the occasional gem, Winston
Cow farts, indeed!
Funny post.
It is my completely unsupportable opinion based upon no research at all that there is an insidious form of public dialogue (doubtless invented by someone working for the Bush administration) which goes like this:
1–for some unaccountable reason, it is being put about that “global warming” is something bad and we should do something about it but our rich supporters don’t like the idea so we have to spin the issue
2–put out phony reports that say more study is needed
3–put out phony reports that causes beyond the reach of government are causing the problem, at least in part, like, say, cow farts and trees.
4–fall back on the notion that if there are aspects of an alleged problem that are beyond the control of government that nothing should be done about the parts of the problem that might be influenced by government action, which we could take, but we won’t.
Remember, early on in the mysterious “energy council” era, Herr Cheney sayeth (quoting as best I can), “Conservation may be a good idea, but it is not the basis for an energy policy.”
I left a comment here I think…. and it seems to have vanished. Oh well can’t recall what it was now.
Do you think there will be any danger to the planet over Christmas with all of us lighting candles, you know, like gas left on, are we all about to go out in a bovine flash….. better than a Bush flash I expect… sorry couldn’t resist that.
Have a wonderful Christmas Winston, greetings to you and yours all the best