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The Center for Artificial Indifference

Black Toe Syndrome…

March 26th, 2007 | Category: Realities

Broke my damn toe, I did. Negotiating the same routine motions that I do every morning. Shower, dry head and torso, step into the walk-in closet to put my feet (one at a time or I would fall on my arse) on the little stool in there to dry feet and legs. For 12.224 years I have followed this same routine every morning. Yesterday morning as I swung my right foot up onto the little stool, the end of toe 4, counting from the little toe, hit the edge of the stool. Funny how the sight of bright stars on a black field of vision will evoke the lord’s name everytime. I yelled and cursed the wicked stool but no one heard my cries. Roomie was out of town for the weekend. I felt the throbbing pain, saw my toe turning black almost immediately, and knew what had happened. I broke my damn toe and it is hurting like a sumbitch.

Roomie has pulled this stunt numerous times. She insists on running around barefoot all over the place. Well, she is from Missississississippi. In the 12.237 years we’ve been together, she must have broken every toe at least once, maybe some twice. And I have learned from her experiences that there is not a damn thing all the medical science in the world can do to help. Tape it to the good toe next to it, endure the pain, and keep on going. If I’m lucky and don’t refracture it, it should be healed by the time Bush is out of office. I can hardly wait…

11 Comments so far

  1. Elsie March 26th, 2007 9:37 am

    Ouch. It’s easy to forget we’re all breakable. Reminders hurt. Feel better, Winston.

  2. Rain March 26th, 2007 9:58 am

    I broke my little toe about a month ago and it’s still not feeling right. I knew the same thing from hearing of other’s experiences– nothing you can do about it. Then I smashed the finger on my left hand between two rocks while gardening… ugly! The only help I know for any of it is to whine some now and then :)

  3. Chickie March 26th, 2007 1:29 pm

    Ouch - that little piggy needs some TLC. :(

  4. Janie March 26th, 2007 5:55 pm

    Yeeeeooooowwwww! Sounds horrible. Get better soon, Winston.

  5. Em March 26th, 2007 8:37 pm

    Oh man, a broken toe is both painful and annoying. When I did it, I felt like such a klutz. Which just made me more annoyed. Try to go easy…no marathon training for a few weeks!

  6. newscoma March 26th, 2007 9:13 pm

    I broke a toe about ten years ago.
    I’m embarrassed to say I was mad when I did it.
    I’m not a person who gets mad very often.
    Sad, and yet embarrassingly true.

  7. Joy March 27th, 2007 1:55 am

    Okay limpy…waiting for your toe to heal OR waiting for Bush to be out of office…which is more painful?

  8. johnno March 27th, 2007 4:09 am

    Bummer.

    Whilst I didn’t listen to The Prairie Home companion that much, I do remember a great monologue by Garrison Keillor on how as one gets older even showering becomes dangerous.

    Love the new look…..clean!

  9. Winston March 27th, 2007 5:31 am

    Thanks to all for your concerns and well wishes.

    Em — OK, no marathon training. But can I at least keep up with the Tour de France training? Maybe on a reduced basis of only 4 hours per day?

    Joy — Yes!

    Johnno — Thanks, mate. Glad to see you back. I guess they got your broadband working. Dialup is a bummer.

  10. Liz March 27th, 2007 12:37 pm

    I love the last but one sentence.

    You could put it in a splint, wrap a big bandage around it and wear sandals so everyone can see and offer you sympathy and a seat. That would make you feel really old!

    Hope it’s stopped hurting at leat.

  11. Fiona March 28th, 2007 8:06 am

    Winston, I feel your pain from over here. :o I hope it heals up quickly! What a bugger!