The Bird Lady of Versailles… Redux…
[This is one of my favorite posts, recycled from September 21, 2005. It is as valid for me now as it was then. My brother reminded me of the four rules last weekend. Many years ago I gave him a card with the rules printed; he still carries it in his wallet but rarely looks at it since he has them committed to memory, and proudly cites them to anyone who will listen. I hope you, dear readers, like them, even if some of you may have a deja vu moment.]
Years ago I developed several new friends and acquaintances after moving to a new condo. One of the most interesting was the one people jokingly referred to as “the bird lady.” She sauntered around the loop of the Versailles complex every evening, with a cigarette in one hand, a drink, usually scotch-on-the-rocks or coffee, in the other, and a beautiful parrot sitting untethered on her shoulder. She smiled and nodded and spoke to all she passed but never became engaged in conversation. The neighbors just rolled their eyes knowingly, smiled secretly, muffled their laughter, and continued what they were doing.
On a particularly pleasant Sunday afternoon I decided to wash the crud off my car. Washing and rinsing and chamois drying at a leisurely pace, paying no attention to my surroundings, lost deep in thought about some mysterious subject like “why cauliflower?”, I was startled when a nearby voice said “When you’re done there you can wash mine.” There was “bird lady” right behind me, not ten feet away, smiling, then cackling at my surprised look. That was good for a couple of laughs and the start of a conversation and friendship.
Volumes could be written about her and that relationship — but maybe another time. This is about the four rules she lived by and passed on to me. I found them to be quite adequate, neatly summarizing in few words the complexity that had over the years become my own personal philosophy of life and code of conduct. Originally intended for interpersonal relationships, the four rules needed enhancement or expansion for application to business and worklife. So I added my own four rules to make a total of eight. They have served me well over the years and I recommend them here for your consideration.
Show Up
Pay Attention
Be Honest
Play FairWork Hard
Take Responsibility
Honor Commitments
Mind Your Own Business
I have no idea what ever happened to “the bird lady of Versailles,” but I am grateful for having known her and for her simple but elegant rules for living.
4 Comments so far
One of life’s eccentrics. How wonderful to have met and formed a relationship with her.
Which were the original four?
Liz, the first four were her originals. The second four I added. But a broad interpretation of the first four really makes my additions redundant.
I’d like a poll of your readers to know which they believe is the hardest rule to follow. My vote goes for
“pay attention” (1) “mind your own business”(2).
I suppose ‘Be honest’ and ‘Play fair’ would cover the first three of yours, but ‘Mind your own business’ stand outs as different.
For Bonnie’s poll, I’d go along with her choices. My mind can, and does, drift off at the blink of an eyelid. In the middle of conversations, in the middle of … (my own sentences).
And minding your own business is so hard when other people’s is much more interesting!