From The Edge Of Olde-Phartdom…
My 60+ years of circling the sun have brought much knowledge and wisdom, most of which has no known practical application and is totally irrelevant. However, there are a few nuggets that have either served me well or were learned too late to help. By passing along this rich cache of wisdom, I sincerely hope that at least one of these will stick with some young un’ out there somewhere so they do not repeat my life mistakes, but learn from them. In no particular order and with no apologies to anyone, anywhere, here we go…
- Brush your damn teeth. Every day. Twice daily, morning and night. And floss. And get regular dental checkups. Don’t and you’ll end up very, very sorry and very, very broke. Or toothless…
- Save your damn money. If you survive to what we euphemistically call our senior years, you’ll find that all those advisors were right. It costs a helluva lot more for even a meager existence than you ever believed it could. Social Security and employers’ pension funds? Don’t bet the farm on them. Save some every payday.
- Stay single. Sure, the allure of a warm and loving marriage is strong. Empirical evidence, observation of those around me, and my own past personal experience indicate that in today’s world, a single relationship or marriage till death do ye part is for most folks not an achievable reality, given the level of effort that most are willing to dedicate to it over time. Besides, marriage rots your teeth, and may be a factor in several types of cancer observed in laboratory rats. Life is short. Enjoy the trip.
- Vanquish vanity. If your hair turns gray, it’s gray. If it falls out, learn that bald is beautiful. If your face sags or wrinkles, so be it. Be who and what you are. Take pride in your genetic heritage and don’t try to mess with Mother Nature. Once you try to be or look like who you are not, you have to keep it up. You’ll end up broke and wrinkled at the end of the road anyway. Life is short. Enjoy the trip.
- Live and let live. Some of the most unhappy folks you’ll run into are (1) those who try to control the lives of other people, only to find out they cannot, and (2) their
victimssubjects. No one wants or needs you to ruin their lives for them. They’re doing a pretty good job of that themselves, thank you very much. Take care of yourself. That’s a fulltime job, because you’re a handful. Help others if they need it and want it. Life is short. Enjoy the trip. - Don’t take yourself too seriously. The world was humming along before your arrival. And guess what… it will be just fine after you’re gone. If you were one of those 1 in a billion that does make a difference in the course of history, you would not be here reading this. The difference makers have my sympathy because they are rarely happy for long. You and I are expendable, replaceable. You will be remembered by family and close friends, but only for 17.2 years. Life is short. Enjoy the trip.
- Don’t collect things. Do things. If your interest is in accumulating or collecting stuff, stuff that you invest your hard earned cash to acquire, understand that you are doing it for the enjoyment and entertainment value, not for the possibility of making a killing off of it some day. Forget the hype about how much the value of your coins or dolls or die-cast metal toys or stamps or little ceramic figures will appreciate. That applies if you want to buy, but not if you want to sell. Over a couple of decades or more you could do as well with your money in a savings account, and a helluva lot better in a solid value fund. Collecting is OK, but just remember you’re in it for the enjoyment, not the investment.
- Life is short. Enjoy the trip. Really…
17 Comments so far
that was great and i agree with them all. I might add– don’t stop living until you are dead. Waiting for the end would be boring and just because you might have to change what your “Do things” means, you don’t have to quit doing to spend what time you have living in the past. Experience the moment whatever it is.
Damned good advice, Winston.
Damned fine.
Hell’s bells Winston, that’s a darn good set of principles. If I had to pick out just one I’d go for live and let live - there’s way too many control freaks out there spreading misery through their so-called good intentions.
Just one on which I’d take issue with you. There’s one joy in this life which beats all others hands down, and that’s raising a family. And I’m old fashioned enough to belive that the best place to do that is within a marriage. Mind you, I wont deny I can see the attractions of bachelorhood…
As for those damn teeth… yup, can’t argue with you on that one, that’s for sure
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Now this is my kind of list Winston. I think I’ve done well by your standards…with the exception of a couple of your Winston Wisdomisms. Stay Single…well, I’m back in the single ranks again, and I don’t foresee that changing….and it definitely has made me realize that “Life is short….so enjoy.” Don’t collect things….I’m pathetically guilty….but, I’ve definitely slowed up considerably. Now I’m looking to unload..huh, that probably won’t be happening anytime soon either.
Nothing to argue with here, sir.
Well, the marriage thing is simply disappointing, because you know, I grew up on fairy tales and always hoped they were true. *sigh*
Be Kind : if only ‘cos being nasty to others will ensure that they’ll make your life Hell too
Great advice, Winston. Glad to see tooth brushing made your list! It’s one of my personal pet peeves. I need to know, do you consider teeth whitening vain? How about hair coloring? I’m afraid I’ve already flunked your list!!
Since I’m the only divorced person among my family and friends, I know that truly happy marriages do exist. I’m glad to be in one now. And I’d have to agree with Andy that within a marriage is the best way to raise kids. I hope the youngsters out there don’t take that one too seriously.
The rest were spot on. Another truly wonderful, enjoyable post, Winston.
Nice list, I’m pondering it, more later.
Thanks to all for your comments. Several of you have made the case for marriage as the best environment for having and raising children. I do tend to agree with that. However, from years of watching the trends, far too few couples put forth the effort required to stay together. The days of staying together for the “sake of the kids” seems to be long gone. Is it better for the kids to be raised by a couple who are continuously at odds with each other, in a single parent household by design, or by a single parent as a result of failure of a marriage? I am not qualified to answer that.
Why, you old coot! You managed to come up with a damn fine list of life-lessons. Who’d a-thunk it? Guess I better start saving my money, eh? Oops.
Wise…….
.. Ive heard it said before that age brings wisdom . and it is true enough, I suppose . (although I do retain the right to call rebuttal witnesses since I know a handful of elderly people who are just plain batshit-crazy..)……
I think you just wrote the best commencement address ever!!
That was very nice to read…at the end of a long day.
Thank you kindly.
“Don’t take yourself too seriously” is my favorite philosophy, and I try to always live by it.
It works, and I wish everyone would learn it.
Sage advice from one only 3 years older than I. Why oh Why didn’t I learn some of these earlier. Came over from Straight White Guy. Will be back.
Being happily married, I have to disagree with rule number 3. The rest were certainly worth those 60+ trips around the sun, though (btw, were they real trips, or the other kind?). I do have a few of my own to add, though, if you don’t mind.
Never cut corners on mattresses, shoes, brakes, tires or dental services. Oh, and for those wealthy seniors who didn’t follow Winston’s first rule, a full set of titanium implants costs about $50 grand, and they’re not covered by Medicare.