nobody asked…

In the previous post, Rand(om) Winston…, I complied with Janie’s request to tell seven random facts about myself. If you have not read that post, please do so before proceeding with this one. … OK, now that you have read the original, you are cordially invited to attend the unveiling of the two random facts about Winston that were not true, but made up on the spot for your readin’ and chucklin’ pleasure.

It was interesting that not a single one of the reader/commenters guessed both the fibs correctly. It remains open to speculation and debate as to whether this speaks more about me, or you. Keep in mind that all commenters, save one, were long-time readers who probably know me quite well. The comment that gave me the biggest  chuckle was from Gerry Rosser, who must have gotten hold of some bad chianti and was just looking for a convenient place to dump about Italian food in general and pasta in particular. Thanks, Gerry, anytime I can help out, come on down… We’ll have some brats and beer…

Ok, here we go…

Many of you correctly guessed No. 4 as being a little white lie. I am told that I do snore quite loudly. I have even been to a sleep clinic at a local hospital in an attempt to identify and eliminate the cause. That was a futile effort. But I have never been in, nor do I even know there exists, such a thing as competitive snoring. Roomie will verify that I could probably take the world championship (if there was such a thing) without breaking a sweat. This was almost a gimme since a quick Google search for competetive snoring yields nothing but humorous references, and as of just now, my post was the #1 Google result, other than two paid advertisements for snoring cessation products.

I am shocked that not one of you identified the second fib, which was No. 8. I have never, nor do I intend to, run for political office. If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve. Somebody said that, but I forget who. Anyway, that little story about running for mayor was absolute, total fiction. Panhandle Poet, the one new reader in this bunch, and the one who should know the least about me, did pick this one as untrue, along with No. 3, but changed his contrarian mind from what he really thought, which was 4 and 9. Sorry, Poet, no cigar…

Now, to the vast majority (actually, all) of you who picked No. 9 — c’mon people. Anybody ever heard of sarcasm — extreme sarcasm? This should have been obvious, especially with the original strikeout left in place. All of you know that the strikeout represents my true feelings. The fluff following the strikeout, the stuff that was so convincing that all of you bought into it, is pure crap. Could I interest any of you in a waterfront lot in the Florida Everglades? How about an oceanfront condo in downtown New Orleans?

I had fun with this and from your comments, I think all of you did too. Thanks to all of you for participating. And, one more time, we all thank Janie out there in her West Texas Oilpatch for the opportunity to make dumbass fools of ourselves…