nobody asked…

The way I figure it, I get a free bottle of Jack Daniels every year. Age has a way of diminishing consumption, or at least shifting preferences, meaning I drink far less Jack than I did in my earlier days, but it remains my favorite booze for the occasional celebratory shot. Whether taken neat or on the rocks, it is the perfect way, for me at least, to celebrate — whatever — the fact that it is Tuesday, or my birthday, or that it is not a special occasion of any kind. A bottle of this local product, what we call the nectar of the gods, costs about $20, so a freebie is not to be scoffed at.

A few pennies here, a quarter there, and oh… a dime over there. I make a lot of stops at convenience stores as I travel the highways and byways, sniffing out computers and networks in distress. Sometimes I stop for an infusion of coffee, other times to unload earlier consumption. I frequently pull into a parking lot to use the cell phone in safety. And I find money. Everywhere. Most of it is in pennies, but all the larger coins are there too. Recently, I even found a $1 bill fluttering around in the parking lot behind a branch bank.

Where does this orphaned currency come from. Is it there in the parking lot of the convenience store by accident? Was it purposely left there for reasons I could not understand? Perhaps this is a manifestation of some Intelligent Design scheme that is playing out just for me, with the aim of keeping me supplied with Tennessee sipping whiskey. But mostly, the loose change that can be found almost everywhere can be attributed to teens and young single adults. They have no respect for coinage, don’t want to be bothered with it, don’t like how it weights them down, so they just discard it wherever they happen to be. They throw away money! If it is not plastic or at least a $5 bill, it is trash to them. Don’t believe me? Ask them. Check out a parking lot at places they frequent, after they’re gone. As inflation and exchange rates continue to devalue the dollar, I expect so soon find more paper money. A few $5s or a couple of $10s each week would take care of my chardonnay thirst…

One estimate a few years ago calculated Bill Gates income at about $250 per second, concluding that he would not bother picking up anything less than a $1,000 bill since it takes about 4 seconds to stop, pickup it up, pocket it, and move on. Whether the numbers are close or not, it’s just a silly little story that does make a valid point. But it doesn’t apply to me. I’ll pick up pennies, even out of the mud or dirt of a parking lot. Over the course of a year, I figure my found money totals around $20. My bottle of Jack Daniels.

[The kernel of this post has been knocking around in my head since finding a discarded or lost $1 bill a few weeks ago. Thanks to Joy for helping kickstart it with her post about pennies. Check it out.]