nobody asked…

If God had intended us not to masturbate he would’ve made our arms shorter. — George Carlin

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In spite of the cost of living, it’s still popular. — Laurence J. Peter

[Yes, that's the Peter Principle dude.]

This one has been dozing for a while in my drafts bin, but with the recent spiraling cost of gasoline, food, and almost everything else we buy, it seems an appropriate time to drag it out, dust it off, and throw it against the wall. Like most folks I know and associate with, we’re starting to really feel it. And it’s going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better.

Brace yourselves, friends. We’re in for some very tough times ahead. Some of us won’t survive it, and that is a very sobering thought.

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Care deeply… give freely… think kindly… act gently and be at peace with the world.

That is the tagline of Paul Williams, the Oscar, Grammy, and Golden Globe winner who has been in America’s entertainment consciousness for four decades. This iconic diminutive giant is an extremely prolific songwriter, capped with classics like We’ve Only Just Begun, Just An Old Fashioned Love Song, and Evergreen. Acting credits comprise a very long list of movies and television shows. I first became aware of Paul’s acting about 1977 with the the movie, Smokey and the Bandit. Subsequently, he had significant roles in the other Smokey movies, and many others.

The Carpenters were one of Paul’s favorite performers for his music. Here’s just one of the many reasons why…

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Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. — Oscar Wilde

The way my week has gone, this seems a quite appropriate expression of my trod-upon feelings. Too busy to blog. Too tired to care much. Too young to be idle. Too old to expect better. Yeah, I’m having a pity party. Y’all come on over. And by the way, it’s BYOB…

Did you know that Oscar’s full name was Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde?

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An executive is a person who always decides; sometimes he decides correctly, but he always decides. – John H. Patterson

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1. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
2. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
3. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you haven’t tried before.
4. There is no evidence to support the notion that life is serious.
5. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
6. For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
7. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
8. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
9. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
10. Junk is stuff you keep for years and throw away the week before you need it.
11. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
12. Blessed are they who laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

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I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it. — Thomas Jefferson

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The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong, it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair. — Douglas Adams

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Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. — John Benfield

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The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. – Arthur C. Clarke

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I have frequently heard that Ben Franklin said something along the lines of moderation in all things. Those words actually came from Aristotle, whose principles likely influenced Franklin as he composed his 13 Virtues. The ninth virtue read:

MODERATION: Avoid extremes. Forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

Related to his position on moderation was his first virtue:

TEMPERANCE: Eat not to dullness. Drink not to elevation.

From the well documented life of Franklin, we know that he possessed a abundant proclivity for good food, strong drink, and the companionship of women. Yet, in Poor Richard’s Almanack he advised:

Be temperate in wine, in eating, girls, and cloth, or the Gout will seize you and plague you both.

We also know that he suffered gout for much of his life. So, as savvy as old Ben was, and as much he represents so much of what was good in our early days as a country, he had his flaws. He frequently seemed to be saying, do as I say and not as I do. Or perhaps he was attuned to the words of W. Somerset Maugham that would come a couple of centuries later:

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.

Now that is a rule I can live with!

After the above was written and ready for publishing, I found this applicable and appropriate thought from Thomas Paine, old Common Sense, himself, over at Papa’s place:

A thing moderately good is not so good as it ought to be. Moderation in temper is always a virtue; but moderation in principle is always a vice.

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Most advertising is wasted on me. If I remain in my seat while the next 10 minutes is filled with inane crapola, 20 ads for 20 products or services that I either already know about, don’t use, or don’t want, I have my brain trained to wander off and process other things during commercial breaks. As often as not, I’m up and away for those few minutes, getting something to drink or nibble on, or making proper disposal of the consumables from previous breaks.

There are exceptions — commercials that are so well done or so clever that they command attention. Budweiser’s Clydesdale commercials, Hallmark’s warm and fuzzy spots, some — but not all — of the ads unleashed during the Super Bowl each year, any commercial involving the herding of cats. Those are a few that come to mind. But please spare me from suffering one more locally produced spot featuring the head dude or dudess droning on about their finest used cars, unmatched insurance offerings, spectacular pools and spas, or the best damn muffler shop in the state. Who gives a rat’s ass?

However, even I, the crusty old veteran of commercial avoidance maneuvers, recognize a good hook line when I hear it. I’m talking about the few brief, simple words spoken by an appealing and trustworthy voice. These slogans or hook lines, or simply hooks, when well done, have exactly the intended effect — they quickly become such natural parts of the lexicon that we take them for granted as nuggets of truth we have always known. These lines frequently speak to us as individuals, complementing the strengths and interests we have or offering to bolster our weaknesses without calling them weaknesses.

Some of the most effective ones at present are:

• You can do it. We can help. — Home Depot
• Are you in good hands? — Allstate (the guy with the rich creamy voice)
• Can you hear me now? — Verizon (see previous post)
• Don’t just buy stuff. Do stuff. — Radio Shack

There are others, both past and present. Do you have a favorite hook line?

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We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible. — Vince Lombardi

This somehow seems appropriate this morning. Belief in one’s self underlies all accomplishments. Those who think they cannot fail, likely will. Those who believe they can win, often do.

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If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts. — Albert Einstein

Most of us would probably agree that old Al was a fairly bright dude. And I think we know what he meant by this little jewel, especially in his fields of scientific and mathematical pursuits. After all, in addition to being one of the brightest bulbs in the chandelier, he was also known to have a very wry sense of humor. I seriously doubt he had in mind, or would approve of, the rewriting and spinning of facts and history as they unfold, a la Big Brother style.

Big corporations do it, as in Microsoft calling software bugs, features. Big government does it by telling us that the disaster in Iraq is going well and making progress. Politicians do it by saying whatever their people think the audience wants to hear, all sounding alike, and all telling convenient lies. And big media does it by spinning almost everything to their own purposes of advertising dollars, profits and their almighty god, share.

We as a people, as a culture, have such tremendous capability, such enormous opportunity. It is shameful that the zeitgeist of our time is written in lies, rewriting of history, spinning of facts, cheating, greed, and the most powerful nation ever to emerge on the planet being drained and sucked into bankruptcy and oblivion by an unwinnable guerrilla war against an unseen enemy in a godforsaken country halfway around the globe.

Meanwhile, the great beast of China quietly moves in and takes us over, just as we are being infested at a phenomenal rate by a seemingly unstoppable flow of millions of illegal aliens from south of the border. Some of you will object to these words. Check the labels on everything you purchased in the past month. Check the lines at the employment office, driver license station, Medicare/Medicaid office, or any human/family service agency. [Thanks! I needed that. Rant over...]

I do not like myself at my skeptical worst. I do not like the fact that I have let myself become that way. I do not like that I have little choice but to question everything, trust no one. It has always been my nature to accept everyone openly at face value, to trust them implicitly until given reason not to. That has always worked for me, other than with a couple of lowlife bottom feeders that had such a good act that it took me longer than normal to wake up. That trait so deeply colors who I am that I continue to trust individuals until they show different stripes. Having said that, I also admit that I do so through a more critical eye than in the past. It takes less to move me from trust to don’t trust than in the past.

Organizations, whether business, government, non-profit, religious, or other, have collectively lost my trust, at least until they prove trustworthy, and even then it is day-to-day. In the end, it all comes down to individuals. Individual trust is at the core of all relationships.

It would seem that we have come far afield from Einstein’s thought that kicked off this post. Or have we? Perhaps we’ve just come full circle. Some things to think about in the private echo chamber of your mind: Who do you trust? Do you trust more or less than in the past? How accepting are you when introduced to someone new? Do you approach the trusting of individuals differently than you do organizations? Is your overall trust level, especially as it applies to organizations, different than it was years ago? If so, why? If your trust level has shifted, are you at ease with that?

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